The struggle in discipline

As children, we rely on our parents to steer us in the right direction. They enforce discipline to help us to understand right from wrong. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say, I couldn’t wait to be grown so that I could make my own rules. I can’t even fathom how long I waited for the day to come I could do what I wanted. I’d be the first to admit it to took until the age of 37, for me to understand the strength behind discipline and how I misused it’s power for all the wrong reasons. Discipline is the art of survival and growth. Without it, I allowed myself to be bound to a lifestyle of certainty as I’ve seen in my family history. Discipline should not be seen as a tool for fear but as a weapon to defeat it. Amongst me are wolves that feed off my naive thought that I am truly living by my own rules and I’m free. But am I? Is the world banking on my recklessness? Have I been taught to believe freedom comes without discipline? The power of control is used everyday to convince us of something. At what point do we gain full control to make our own decisions? The decisions that will no longer allow us to make excuses for ourselves. I was so eager to break free from discipline as a kid, I am now struggling to find it as an adult. Could discipline be the answer I’ve been looking for? Can I be disciplined enough to follow my own rules and stand by them? What about this life keeps me from having everything I want? Discipline. I’m struggling to hold on to my own desires because I lack the discipline it requires me to have, in order to keep it.

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